16 things successful people have given up
Dear friends,
this week's newsletter is all about a fascinating article I read last week. It's called 16 Things Your Successful Friends Have Given Up, and I loved it so much, I have to do a recap. I read it to my husband as well, and he thought it hit the truth on the nail. At some point, he also said that "we have given all these things up, too" - I don't think I'm quite there yet, but I'm definitely working on it.
Here they are, let me know what you think!
16 things successful people have given up:
1. They’ve given up believing they can’t change the world
If you think that whatever you do won't make a difference, why even bother? This negative attitude doesn't help anyone, least of all you. While trying to change the world is a daunting prospect, when you cut it down into smaller pieces, it's a lot easier. Small steps are the key for any great project, and when you successfully master little tasks, it will give you the courage to tackle bigger ones. Besides, you never know who you may motivate with your actions, who in turn motivates others, and so the circle widens - if we believe that great things are possible, they will happen!
2. They've given up on luck
You've probably heard the saying: "The harder I work, the luckier I get." Blaming luck - or the lack thereof - for not achieving success is a cheap excuse. There's no way around it: Successful people work hard.
3. They've given up on numbing pain
Pain is a part of life. And it's a necessary part. Facing our pain will help us understand ourselves better, and working through it will make us stronger. Crying, screaming, ranting against the pain are all better choices than trying to numb it. The thing is: We may be able to numb it for a night, or a week, or even for months on end - but we will have to face it eventually. It doesn't go away. It's uncomfortable, and difficult, and yes, painful - but the sooner we face it, the sooner we will learn to live with it.
4. They've given up on negative people
OMG, YES!!! There's nothing that will hold you back more than the nay-sayers of this world. People who are too afraid to chase their own dreams, and who chose to be miserable, like nothing more than to keep everybody around them on their level. Misery likes company!
Not only will they rain on your parade, if you stick to negative people long enough, their negativity will rub off on you, and you will start to see the world through their grey glasses. Don't do it!
5. They've given up on time wasting
We all love a good Netflix-binge session. It's one of the simple joys of modern life!
But if all you do is watch TV, play Solitaire or scroll your life away, you will never get closer to fulfilling your dreams.
6. They've given up only consuming
There are the people who only look at other's Instagram, Snapchat, blogs, art, photography - and there are the ones who create the content. You won't be successful if all you do is look. You also have to do! The article said 50/50 is a good percentage to aim for. That's doable, right? Right! Incidentally, I blogged about "Being a maker" last year, you can read it here!
7. They've given up selfishness
There is a wise quote, I don't know by whom: "Girls compete with each other, women support each other." No successful person has made it by themselves; they all had help. Successful people don't forget how they started out, and like to pay forward the help they were given. It's not only the karmic thing to do, it also feels great!
8. They've given up wasting their money
I've had times in my life where I worked a lot, usually in jobs that weren't exactly my dream jobs. Without fail, those were also the times where I spent the most money. I would tell myself that I deserved a treat, that I worked hard, so why not buy myself nice things? But then I would panic about all the money I spent, thinking I had to work more to make it up. But all the working made me want to treat myself .... It's a vicious cycle. Investing money in yourself and your future is important; but spending money just to give yourself a temporary boost won't help you long-term.
9. They've given up on not believing in people
Belief is magic. It's something that can't be explained, but it instills hope and optimism in you.
I've learnt that what you expect of people, often comes true. If you expect great things from them, they will deliver; on the flip side, if you don't believe in them, if you're looking for disappointment, you will find that as well.
10. They've given up on negative thoughts
Our thoughts are incredibly powerful. Gandhi said:
"Your beliefs become your thoughts,
your thoughts become your words,
your words become your actions,
your actions become your habits,
your habits become your values,
your values become your destiny."
What we think, we become. If we think negatively, it's impossible to have a good and successful life.
11. They've given up on BS
Ain't nobody got time for that.
12. They've given up on being stuck in failure
Every single person fails daily. Look at how many times toddlers fall before they learn how to walk! When it comes to learning something new, we're all toddlers in the beginning. We will make mistakes. The trick is to get up again and again, until it gets easier.
13. They've given up on being single
I haven't been single in a very long time (15 years!), which means that I have done all my real growing up with my husband by my side. I wouldn't want it any other way. I applaud all the confident singles out there, but I was never any good at it. Being in a wonderful relationship has been one of the greatest joys of my life.
14. They've given up on wearing a mask
Oh my gosh you guys, I have SO much to say about this one, but I'll try to keep it short.
Let's just say, I have extensive experience with people hiding behind masks (my mother is a prime example), and I have seen first-hand how difficult it makes life. It's exhausting, because playing an act all day takes a lot of effort and energy. You always worry that someone might see the real you, and what if they don't like the real you? What if the pretend you is what makes your life tick, and the real one would mess it all up? It's a lot of pressure.
Then there are all the underlying issues: Why do you feel the need to hide? What makes you feel so ashamed that you can't just be you?
Keeping your mask in place will take up so much of your time, there is not enough left to create your successful life.
And besides: You should let your beautiful, true self shine!
15. They've given up on people's opinions of them
Again, there is SO.FRICKING.MUCH to say about this. But in a nutshell: The quickest way to doubt yourself is listening to other people's opinions. Particularly people who have never been even remotely in your shoes, who have no idea what you're going through, and why you do what you do. Ignore them!
16. They've given up on giving up
Oh yes, baby: Never give up! Adjust your approach if it doesn't work, tweak your goals, maybe even reset what "success" means for you.
But never, ever, dare giving up on you!
You deserve the world.
xoxo Miriam
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Vol. 18