Growing up, I had a standard answer when people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up: “Happy.” A prolific reader of stories with happy endings, I thought the end goal was to get to a destination that was marked with a sign spelling out “Happy End” in large, sparkling letters, and once you arrived you’d live happily ever after.
Did I have any idea how to get to that magical place? Absolutely not. I had no plan, no clue what sort of work I’d like to do, not even an inkling of where in the world I wanted to live.
Heartbreak led me to Canada and to Richard, my husband of nearly 18 years. Finding a fulfilling career took a few more tries, with false stops at forestry and a questionable tourism college, working longer than I should have in retail and playing the church organ for an unbelievable 18 years before settling into my career as an x-ray technologist.
When I started blogging in 2013 I was introduced to a world that was completely foreign to me. Here were ordinary women who started out writing about their lives but who managed to turn that into side hustles, or in some cases into their careers! Before influencers existed there were bloggers, and they were my idols. I briefly dreamed of making money off my blog, but soon realized that I didn’t have what it takes. So I settled into blogging for fun, and it was a cherished hobby that gave me a community, fulfillment, a tiny knowledge of coding, many breakthroughs that helped me grow and a ton of fun and enjoyment.
It also gave me something else: a new dream. Writing blog posts provided an opportunity to practice my writing, and a few years into blogging I started to set my sights on a lofty goal: writing a book.
I started devouring stories of people who had given up their 9-5s in order to chase their dreams. Those stories all inevitably had happy endings (yes, I was still enthralled by the idea of a happy ending), resulting in these people becoming richer and more successful than they ever were in their ordinary, “boring” jobs. I dabbled in manifestation (something I’ve half-heartedly done off and on a few times since my 30s), wondering if it would be possible for me to manifest a career as a writer.
A blogger whom I followed got a book deal around the same time, and I was torn between jealousy and hope that the same could happen to me. Never mind that she’d studied writing, had worked as a journalist, had taught creative writing and was an incredibly gifted self-promoter - why couldn’t the same happen to me? After all, that’s what all the manifestation gurus promised, that if you only visualized what you wanted hard enough, it would become real.
I won’t get into the topic of manifestation now (maybe in another newsletter), but what I’ll say is this: I do believe in goal setting, and I also believe that the more you know what you want and work towards it, the more likely it is that you’ll get it.
And yes, I have a vision board next to my desk that I update every year, and a lot of the items on it have become real. It’s inspiring and motivating to me, and believing in a higher power is comforting, so I’ll keep doing it!
I wrote my first book and got it published through a hybrid publishing company, which is a model that offers everything a traditional publishing house does, but the author pays for it. At that time I was putting an immense amount of pressure on myself to become commercially successful, because I thought that was the logical next step: to turn this author gig into a side hustle first, and eventually into a career.
I hated it. I started to have severe anxiety, an overwhelming feeling of failure and imposter syndrome, and I couldn’t handle the modest amount of attention I received in my home town. I knew I should enjoy it and I was extremely grateful, but I felt so uncomfortable that I ended up with burnout. I fled town for a year, and during that time I wrote my second book about the experience, appropriately named Quit the Hustle.
I self-published that one, and man, what a different experience it was! I put zero stress on myself, because what I realized during my year away from home was this: I love writing. In particular, I love writing books. I get a huge amount of joy and satisfaction out of writing something that requires months of work. I imagine marathon runners or people who regularly do huge renovations feel similarly? There’s just something incredibly rewarding about starting a huge project and actually completing it. Writing helps me make sense of the world, and sharing difficult experiences helps all of us be more understanding and forgiving not only towards each other, but maybe most importantly towards ourselves.
I have come a long way from being a young dreamer who just wanted to be happy, but had no idea how to get there.
Now I know that I need a pack of dogs, nature, having a job that makes me part of something bigger than myself, books, stories, people I love - and writing books.
I consider myself unbelievably fortunate to live in a time where I don’t have to rely on traditional publishing houses to create a book. We can do it for free these days, which is incredible!
With all this said, we have arrived at the announcement stage of this letter:
My next book, Everything is Broken and Completely Fine, will come out on January 23, 2023!🎉🎉
After sending the manuscript to a few small publishing houses and an agent, receiving two rejections and still waiting for an answer from the rest, I made a decision to self-publish once again. There are several reasons for it: you are in complete control of the project; you can do as much or as little promotion for it as you want (which is my least favourite part of the book publishing process); and most importantly, it’s fast.
I’ve been in limbo since I finished the first draft in July, unable to focus on my next project (yes, I have book #4 planned, my first novel!), which I’m impatient to get started on. Writing is a tremendous help with my anxiety and depression, and with the arrival of winter and the SADs I need all the help I can get. I’m now in the editing stage, I hired a friend to design the cover, and I’m so exhilarated by it all!
I chose Monday, January 23 as the release date for two reasons:
January is a difficult month in the Northern hemisphere for anyone suffering from depression. Mondays are particularly hard for many people with anxiety who get the “Sunday Scaries”. The third Monday of January is often called “Blue Monday”, because so many people have the blues three weeks into the month. To make matters worse, January 2023 has five Mondays, so I thought I’d release my book on the 4th one, right around the time we think we can’t take January any more. Something to look forward to, right?
Part of the book is about quitting drinking. Dry January is something that many people participate in, and I know from experience that the first excitement about it has long worn off by the time the second half of January rolls around. Just in time when you might be tempted to say Fuck it and pour yourself one, here’s my book with some of my misadventures in drinking to keep you going!
For a while I assumed that writing books needed to include for them to become bestsellers. Guess what? It doesn’t. You can tweak your dream so it fits you, not the other way around. Fame isn’t something I’m interested in. All I want is to write stories and share them with others, so we all feel seen and understood.
I’ll let you know when it becomes available for pre-order and will, of course, share the cover with you once it’s ready. I’m so excited!
Happy Monday my loves. It’s a snowy one here, which means perfect editing weather!
❤️ Miriam
Miriam, I am so happy to hear that you’re still writing and that you have another book coming out! I want you to know that your book Quit The Hustle helped me through the worst part of the pandemic.
It’s so refreshing to hear you talk about your writing, and how you are doing it because you love it and not because you want to monetize it. I’m an artist and I love being creative, but I hate trying to make money with it. That just kills any inspiration I have. So it’s so wonderful to hear that I’m not alone!
Thank you for everything you do. It’s wonderful to be getting your newsletters again.