Words have immense power. They can wound and heal, devastate and soothe, make us cry and laugh. Long before I became a writer I was a reader, and reading remains to this day my favourite hobby. Books have been and always will be my friends and confidantes, the characters within them often more real to me than the people in my real life. There are books I will re-read for the rest of my life, sometimes because the characters in them are so dear to me that I want to hang out with them again, other times because the writing is so good that shivers of pleasure run up and down my spine when reading them. Writing can be absolutely delicious!
And then there are the times when a book finds us and saves us. I’ve been wanting to share five of the books that have done that for me for the longest time, but I’ve been reluctant to do so because I’m worried that I will not do their significance justice. However, cowardice is a poor reason not to do something, so I’m going ahead, doing my best to put into words how and why these five books are so important to me.
I’ve put them in reverse order, starting with the one that’s newest to me and finishing with one I’ve read many years ago.
The Mountain is You by Brianna Wiest
Brianna Wiest is an incredibly gifted and prolific writer who, at only 31, has already written eight books that have sold over a million copies worldwide. She writes thought-provoking books on emotional intelligence, mindfulness, and spirituality. In The Mountain is You, she helps the reader recognize and overcome roadblocks in their life. Here are some of the quotes that have left a lasting impression on me:
“Your new life is going to cost you your old one.
It’s going to cost you your comfort zone and your sense
of direction.
It’s going to cost you relationships and friends.
It’s going to cost you being liked and understood.
It doesn’t matter.
The people who are meant for you are going to meet you
on the other side. You’re going to build a new comfort
zone around the things that actually move you forward.
Instead of being liked, you’re going to be loved. Instead of
being understood, you’re going to be seen.
All you’re going to lose is what was built for a person you
no longer are.”
“The people you spend the most time with will shape your future irrevocably, and so you must choose them wisely.”
“Happiness is not something you can chase. It is something you have to allow. This likely will come as a surprise to many people, as the world is so adamant about everything from positive psychology to motivational Pinterest boards. But happiness is not something you can coach yourself into. Happiness is your natural state. That means you will return to it on your own if you allow the other feelings you want to experience to come up, be felt, be processed, and not resisted. The less you resist your unhappiness, the happier you will be.”
Honestly, I could quote the entire book, it’s brimming with wisdom.
Who is it for? For anyone who seeks peace, contentment, and happiness in their life. If you’re restless or vaguely discontent, this book can be your guide to find your way.
The Myth of Normal by Dr. Gabor Maté
I read this book a year ago, and it completely changed my mind about addiction, chronic illness, and how our society breeds disease. Dr. Gabor Maté is a Canadian physician who has worked extensively with patients suffering from mental illness and drug addiction, palliative patients, and in family practice. He is renowned worldwide for his expertise on the mind-body connection, stress, addiction, and childhood development.
The Myth of Normal explores the cause of chronic illnesses such as autoimmune disease, arthritis, or cancer; how our society’s view of what’s considered “normal” (the pressures of modern-day living, working around the clock, normalizing trauma and stress) is making us sick; and that a separation of body and mind prevents us from healing.
This book explained patterns and behaviours in my own life that have always been a mystery to me. I repeatedly told Rich that this book “explains my entire life to me!”
Even though the topic is complex and difficult, the books offers an abundance of hope for health and healing. It’s a call to action to recognize toxic patterns in our society and ourselves, and to take control of our own bodies and minds. It left me feeling wide awake, energized, and hopeful.
Some great quotes:
“One of the things many diseases have in common is inflammation, acting as kind of a fertilizer for the development of illness. We’ve discovered that when people feel threatened, insecure—especially over an extended period of time—our bodies are programmed to turn on inflammatory genes.”
“If we could begin to see much illness itself not as a cruel twist of fate or some nefarious mystery but rather as an expected and therefore normal consequence of abnormal, unnatural circumstances, it would have revolutionary implications for how we approach everything health related.”
“Trauma is perhaps the most avoided, ignored, belittled, denied, misunderstood, and untreated cause of human suffering.”
Who is it for? I strongly believe that this book should be required reading for anyone working in healthcare. It helps unlock a new understanding and compassion for patients with addiction and mental health problems. It would also be immensely helpful for anyone who is touched by mental illness or addiction, either in themselves or through loved one.
This Naked Mind by Annie Grace
This is the book that helped me quit drinking almost three years ago. It didn’t do it right away; I read it once before, in 2019, and while it made me think a lot (and took the fun out of drinking because now I knew too much), I wasn’t ready until I read it a second time in 2021. It explains the psychology behind the reasons why we drink, what it does to our mind and body, and how the blame should firmly be put on the substance, and not the drinker.
Annie emphasizes throughout the book the cultural expectation to drink, and how the alcohol industry and modern media benefit from convincing us that alcohol is harmless. They do this by making us believe that some people can’t handle alcohol due to genetics or a flawed character, but that the rest of us isn’t like that. It’s genius, because they’ve successfully achieved not taking any responsibility (after all, they are telling us to “drink responsibly”), and we can feel superior and continue buying and consuming their product.
There are several components hat appealed to me that set this book apart from many other recovery books:
It doesn’t label people as “alcoholics”. That puts the blame on the drinker instead of the drink, which Annie says is misplaced. In the medical and the psychiatric and scientific realms, “alcoholism” is no longer recognized. The DSM-5, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Disorders, does not recognize the term “alcoholic” and instead, it uses the much more accurate term “alcohol use disorder.”
Annie emphasizes that the addictiveness of the substance is to blame for getting people addicted.
It doesn’t tell you that you have an incurable disease. That mindset can keep people in a constant state of vigilance, of having to always be watchful to keep the disease in check. Annie’s approach is that you liberate yourself by making the conscious decision that you don’t want to drink anymore, which creates a subtle but important difference in your mind: instead of feeling deprived, you feel free. The shift in mindset from “I don't get to drink” to “I don’t have to drink” makes a powerful difference. It certainly worked for me!
It’s a great alternative for people like me who’d rather quit on their own instead of a group setting. AA is incredibly helpful for millions of people, but it’s not for everyone.
These are some of the quotes I found particularly helpful:
“You drink to get the feeling of peace that someone who is not dependent on alcohol always feels.” (That one blew.my.mind. I didn’t dare believe that it could be true. But guess what? It is!)
“If alcohol made you happy, every time you drank you should be full of happiness. Let me ask you, from a purely physiological perspective, how could alcohol possibly make you happy? The effect of alcohol is to deaden all of your senses, to numb you, to inebriate you. If you are numb, how can you feel anything, happiness included?”
“You cannot find peace by avoiding life.” —Virginia Woolf”
“Most of us hide behind the arbitrary line we have drawn between “alcoholics” and “regular drinkers.” We don’t blame the addictive drug in our glass. Instead, we believe that there is something wrong with the addict on the street.”
Who is it for? For anyone who is questioning their drinking behaviour.
Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert
I’ve owned this book for years, and it lives permanently on my nightstand. Whenever the world seems too dark to bear I flip through its pages for a dose of encouragement; it reminds me that the world is also filled with possibility and wonder. It was the first book I read that told me that writing can be fun! The cliché of the tortured artist refuses to die, and many artists believe that they need to suffer when creating art. Ernest Hemingway immortalized this belief with his famous quote: “There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”
Liz calls BS. This vibrant, beautiful book is a love letter to creativity: who should do it (everyone!), why we should do it (because it’s fun!), and how we should do it (imperfectly, because “done is better than good”).
I adore this book. It was the last push I needed to write my first book. It taught me to coexist peacefully with my fear instead of aiming for (and failing at) fearlessness. It makes the world much more exciting and filled with magic!
It has a ton of inspiring quotes in it, here are a few gems:
“The universe buries strange jewels deep within us all, and then stands back to see if we can find them.”
“A creative life is an amplified life. It’s a bigger life, a happier life, an expanded life, and a hell of a lot more interesting life.”
“What do you love doing so much that the words failure and success essentially become irrelevant?”
“Recognizing that people's reactions don't belong to you is the only sane way to create. If people enjoy what you've created, terrific. If people ignore what you've created, too bad. If people misunderstand what you've created, don't sweat it. And what if people absolutely hate what you've created? What if people attack you with savage vitriol, and insult your intelligence, and malign your motives, and drag your good name through the mud? Just smile sweetly and suggest - as politely as you possibly can - that they go make their own fucking art. Then stubbornly continue making yours.”
“Creativity is sacred, and it is not sacred. What we make matters enormously, and it doesn’t matter at all. We toil alone, and we are accompanied by spirits. We are terrified, and we are brave. Art is a crushing chore and a wonderful privilege”
Who is it for? For all creatives. And to quote Liz: “If you’re alive, you’re a creative person.”
The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls
This 2005 memoir touched me so deeply, I still think about it almost 20 years later. The author has a wonderful gift for telling her flawed family’s story in an incredibly compassionate, loving way. Reading this book was a mind-opening experience – it felt like an awakening. This can be done? I marvelled. You can tell a difficult truth in a kind and vulnerable, yet strong way? I was amazed; I’d had no idea.
This memoir has served as a guide post for my own writing ever since I read it.
Who is it for? For anyone with a complicated family.
What are some books that have changed your thinking, worldview, or life? Please share in the comments!
The audiobook for the HOA is slowly being distributed among retailers! It takes a while to show up on Audible and Amazon, but I have a few other sources for you:
Spotify (free for subscribers!)
My narrator Alex is just fantastic, I love how she brought the characters to life! Happy listening!
I loved The Glass Castle, too!
Such an amazing list of books! Some I’ve read and some that will go on my TBR! xx