I see you
Friday afternoons are the worst. The joyous calls of "TGIF!", "I'm picking up my weekend cider!", "what are you up to this weekend?" are echoing all around me, and I wish I could close my ears and ignore them all.
I also wish I could skip ahead until it's this time next week, when I, too will be one of the joyous people.
But it's today, and I have to face the second weekend away from home, with 64 (=Friday afternoon until Monday morning) seemingly endless hours stretching ahead of me. On my way home from work the melancholy is threatening to overwhelm me. I'm struggling to find something beautiful, something uplifting, because I don't want to give in to the sadness. And as if on demand, there it is: mama deer and papa dear are resting in the playground around the corner of my house, with baby deer grazing peacefully close by. My aching heart lifts, and I exhale slowly, grateful for this little sign from the universe. Even though the town is lousy with deer (some people even consider them a pest), I relish seeing them. They have become my spirit animals, my good-luck charms. Seeing them makes me feel better.
(I didn't get a photo, so I took this from Pixabay)
Once home, I give myself permission to snuggle under the covers and watch the best cure for the blues I know: Gilmore Girls.
Aaah, this is better.
A few hours later, I meet my house mate Kate. And when I hear that she's from Vietnam and hasn't seen her family in 2 years I feel foolish. And incredibly lucky. And it makes me think of all the other people I've met throughout my life who had to leave their home to make a living. There have been many over the years:
Joe from the Philippines, who sees his wife and kids only once a year.
Vincent from Macedonia who has a master's degree in his country, but who can't find a job in Canada anywhere but a remote town 4 hours away from his family, and who sees them only once a month.
The spunky Polish girls I used to work with in Wales, who sent most of their money back home because their families needed it.
There is Jim who never went to school, and who has worked any job up North he can get for the last 30 years, often being gone for months at a time.
Beverly, who has worked in a town 300km away from her husband for the last 2 summers, because they need the money.
There is the newly graduated nurse who has applied for over 90 jobs in her province and can't get hired because of "lack of experience" (don't even get me started on how stupid I think this is), and who has to move to another province in order to get a job.
There are many more. And while I know how privileged I am as a white, middle-class, educated woman living in one of the richest countries in the world, I sometimes forget. And it's good to remember all the others who live apart from their loved ones for much longer, much farther away, under worse circumstances.
Ironically, the longer we live in our comfort bubbles, the easier it is to forget how good we have it.
It takes stepping out of it once in a while to see the world around us again in sharper focus, and to newly appreciate everything we have.
To everybody who dreads the long evenings and weekends alone at home: you are not alone. I see you.
And I hope you have your own spirit animals, feel-good-shows, little rituals and comforts to get you through the tough times. Remember: it may be tough, but you are tougher.
You and I, we got this.
xoxo Miriam
In case you missed it:
Did you read about the magic of the Internet last week? The Internet is full of kind and supportive people, and I talk about 6 of my favourite ones.
We added two new members to our family, and you may be surprised when you find out who they are ... I did an interview last week where I talk about books, writing, yoga, aging and more - take a look!
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Vol. 56