Memory keepers

A thank-you letter to social media

Social media gets a bad rep.
Several of the accounts I follow have taken social media breaks. When I meet someone who isn’t on social media, I’m as much filled with admiration as most people are. It’s unusual these days, especially for young people, and it seems noble and pure, a throwback to simpler times when life was easier.

The news is full of stories of the damaging effects of social media, including online bullying, detrimental effects on our mental health, creating unattainable beauty standards, making people feel inadequate, the pressure of wanting to keep up with the rich and famous … the list is endless.

BUT.

This letter isn’t about the negative sides of social media. Today I’m focusing on the good parts of it, and the positive role the Internet has played in my life.

I’m turning 44 in December, which means that I’m either right about at the halfway point of my life or already past it. Soon I’ll have spent half my life in Germany and the other half in Canada, and as I was kayaking yesterday I did some reflecting on how everything has been going so far.

To sum it up in one word: WILD. If you would have told my 20-year old self that I would one day hike through woods where I regularly see bears, have dozens of beautiful lakes to choose from all within an hour’s drive from my house, live with 5 dogs, become a writer, and feel peace in my own body and skin, I would have never believed you.

The internet has played an important role of getting me where I am today. After all, it was an online ad that brought me to Canada in the first place, and it all started happening from there.

Dear blog,
you have helped me find my style, made me realize that I’m not alone in my desire to not have babies, and helped me learn a lot about myself, simply by writing it all out and reading about other people’s experiences. You taught me basic coding, made me stretch creative muscles I didn’t know I had, and showed me a world beyond my limited physical one.
But by far your biggest gift was that you made me fall in love with writing, gave me the courage to put my work out there, and allowed me to experiment in a safe, supportive environment. While I have outgrown Farm Girl - I’m a woman now - you will always holds a very special place in my heart.

A picture from my fashion blogging days

Dear Instagram,
You, more than anything else, have changed my life for the better. You helped me find yoga, introduced me to the concept of body positivity (which healed my hang-ups about my own body), introduced me to a community of people with mental illness, and you are my support group in my sobriety. I also found my latest love poetry through you!

I know that Instagram, maybe more than any other platform, can spark FOMO and create unrealistic standards in anything from the way we look to seemingly neverending travel, perfectly staged houses and lives that look like nonstop fun.

However, the great thing about it is that you are in charge of who you follow and what your feed looks like. I follow therapists, artists, creatives, sobriety accounts, humour, and people whom I find inspiring, entertaining, or informative.

Here are some of my faves:

Mental health support: @therapyforwomen, @drjulie, @micheline.maalouf, @adamgrant, @realdepressionproject

Humour: @thedailytay, @taylortomlinson, @celestebarber, @steveioe, @rileylaster, @simoncholland

Sobriety: @sober_celebrities, @drop_the_bottle_, @themagicisinthemiddle, @jerzeymike

Poetry: @joysullivanpoet, @maryoliversdrunkcousin, @poetryisnotaluxury, @grieftolight

Inspiration: @words_of_women, @yrfatfriend, @humansofny

Informative: @drjengunter, @loverobinclark, @notoriouscree

Good for the soul: @shifferdiane, @myminiaturelife_yt, @jvn, @dan_clay, @kjp, @sugarpusher

Dear Internet-at-large,
thank you for being my memory keeper. For someone like me who sometimes gets lost in the darkness of her mind, having you there to remind me of the light is invaluable. When my brain is telling me that my life is terrible and nothing good has ever happened, I need the photos and videos as gentle reminders that my brain is lying to me. Looking at them is proof that my brain is not to be trusted in those instances, and makes me remember happy memories that are otherwise lost in the fog.

I need to read over and over that I’ve been there before and made it out the other end, because every time feels like it’s the worst one. I also need to reread the lessons I thought I’d learnt, because my depression-brain is forgetful, irrational, and not to be trusted.

And it helps tremendously to get little nudges from other people that remind me of what’s going on, because even though I should know, I often don’t realize it until it’s too late.

Everything is fleeting, the bad as well as the good. That’s why I love creating memories. I have left countries, houses, jobs, and people behind, and there are more goodbyes coming in the future. I love to be able to look back at the past from time to time, going to my various treasure chests dotted around the Internet, my hard drive, phone, and old-fashioned photo boxes. It’s reassuring to know that even though everything in life is temporary, we will always have our memories.

❤️ Miriam