Pebbles
Penguins give pebbles as gifts; humans in the 21st century give memes, poems, and DMs
They occasionally arrive in my inbox, like pieces of gold found in a wild stream. Messages from readers who were touched by my words, by my story. It’s a precious gift that never gets old, never loses its beauty.
(Particularly when the feedback I get from my family of origin about my writing is “I would never buy your book”, “who would want to read about your life?”, and “I couldn’t finish it, it was too depressing and boring”.)
My friend and I send each other poems almost every day. A little gift to each other, a reminder that there is magic in the ordinary, beauty in pain, that the moon rises even on the darkest of nights.
My daughter sometimes sends me funny reels of chickens or horses, something that reminds her of our little ranch, of us.
My other daughter sends me photos and videos of the grandkids, little life updates squeezed in amidst the busyness of work, kids, paying bills, planning a new house, hormonal upheaval, trying to maintain friendships, caring for the ranch, raising a puppy, remembering birthdays, fending off PMDD rage and hopelessness, having your heart broken by the atrocities of war, worrying about the world who is reigniting its hate for anyone other than white+male (women, minorities, the LGBTQIA+ community, any colour that isn’t white, free thinkers, atheists, any religion that isn’t theirs), adjusting to a changing body and chaotic mind.
Sometimes, these poems, DMs, memes, or reels are what get me through the day. Art is what makes me thankful to be alive in a world that stings. On days when the hopelessness threatens to engulf me, when capitalism and the patriarchy and the greed of humanity that’s destroying our planet are making me want to scream, or curl up in the fetal position, or simply give up - a poem about eating sun-warmed tomatoes with salt on toasted bread while sitting in the sun makes me smile. It helps me remember beauty.
Pebbles are important. They make the penguin world go round by making comfy nests, establishing relationships, letting each other know, “hey, I like you!”
We need pebbles, too. Little pieces of gold that glimmer on grey days, rays of sunlight breaking through the clouds of our depression, stress, the heaviness of it all.
In case nobody has told you recently:
You are important.
You brighten the world with your presence.
Your art means something.
Your comment made someone feel good about themselves.
You taking time for yourself helped you regulate your nervous system, which made you more present for your kids.
Your post on social media made me feel seen.
Your picture of your colourful home made me smile.
You sharing your recovery story helped me quit drinking.
Tell someone something nice today. Give them a pebble.
Love, Miriam
Want more?
I wrote 3 nonfiction books about love, quitting the hustle, and living with mental illness. You can find them here. My first work of fiction is coming out in September, I’ll tell you more about it very soon!
