Self-fulfilling prophecies
You know what happens when you get too cocky?
You will get kicked in the ass.
Just a short 5 days ago I smugly published a post called How I beat the January-blues, pleased as punch to have found the recipe to not go nuts in the winter. Turns out, the main reason that January was better than normal was that it was warmer than normal. But at the beginning of this month the cold hit, and it's been hanging around ever since.
People, it gets down to -25C/-13F at night. If we're lucky it may warm up to a balmy -10C/14F during the day, but often it doesn't even get that high. Teeth are chattering, fingers are turning blue, and spirits are low.
What's interesting to me is that it was that cold last year, and the year before, and I didn't mind it as much then. Sure, I was cursing when I was literally drowning in snow, had to hack open the frozen water dishes for the birds with a sledge hammer or fight a losing battle with the masses of snow on our deck.
The difference? It started when winter is supposed to start, in November.
This year we have all been lulled into a false sense of security by a milder than usual winter, and by the (wrong) assumption that once January is over, it's basically almost spring. (Boy, was I ever wrong about that.)
In short, winter caught us with our pants around our ankles and took us completely off guard.
I've been pondering this for the last few days. If the difference between accepting something we can't change (like the weather) and being completely bowled over by it, should we always fear the worst?
I know people who say that by expecting the worst outcome you will never be disappointed, and while that may be true, that's no way to live.
I like to believe in the good and expect good things to happen, because in my experience if you send positive vibes out into the world, positivity will come back to you.
My husband calls this a self-fulfiling prophecy, which is "a belief or expectation that an individual holds about a future event that manifests because the individual holds it (Good Therapy, 2015)."
For example, if you wake up and immediately think—for whatever reason or for no particular reason at all—that today is going to be a terrible day, your attitude might make your prediction come true. You may unconsciously work to affirm your belief by ignoring the positive, amplifying the negative, and behaving in ways that are unlikely to contribute to an enjoyable day.
Psychologists have found strong evidence for the impact of our beliefs and expectations on outcomes, particularly when we are convinced that our predictions will manifest, and even when we don’t necessarily consciously know that we hold the expectation.
(To read more about self-fulfilling prophecies click here.)
I love this mindset because it puts the power in our hands. There's a popular quote by Charles Swindoll that states:
"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it."
If I apply this to my current situation, then the arctic cold is the 10% that's been happening to us, but I have the power to decide how I deal with it. Do I bitch and complain (done and done), or do I put on extra layers, gloves, hat, a scarf around my face and make the most of it?
I've done the complaining, and all I got was a bad mood in return. For the last couple days I've tried the positive, life-embracing approach, and the difference is incredible: I've gotten 10 hours of sleep, had a long and satisfying talk with my roomie yesterday, talked for an hour with my sis today, wrote this newsletter, read half of the most amazing book, The Rosie Result (book 3 of the Don Tillman series, I highly, highly recommend all three books!), ate healthy, drank my weight in water and tea, and got enough Netflix time in.
It was amazing.
What happens to us is beyond our control, but how we react to it is on us. How empowering is that?
I believe that the rest of February will be productive, relaxing, enjoyable and fun. And by believing that it will come true.
Self-fulfilling prophecies are awesome.
What do you want from your life? Believe it and see it come true!
Have a great week,
Miriam
In case you missed it:
I wrote an open and honest post about what marriage is really like: Marriage is not all hearts and smiling couple selfies
I've gained 10 pounds over the last year, but instead of beating myself up about it I'm taking a more rebellious (and joyous!) route by embracing the middle-age spread.
In case you need to hear this today: Hey, you gonna be okay
I shared a few favourite videos for increasing your flexibility.
It's the season for depression, so I talked about it in this post.
If you've ever wondered what life with a corgi is like, wonder no more! A love letter to my best girl is right here.
I can't be the only one who gets bored sometimes, can I? I'm talking about what techniques I use to beat boredom in a non-destructive and healthy way.
Here's the permission slip you've been waiting for: We can all stop trying so hard.
If you're looking for a Valentine's present for your book-loving partner, it's still time to order a really great love story!
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Vol. 63