Shape your life the way YOU want
There we were, four young adults on a regular Wednesday morning: all of us at home, sitting on the front porch, soaking up the spring sunshine. We looked at each other and burst out laughing. "We're all home on a weekday, and we aren't bums!" one of us said.
"On the contrary, we all have decent jobs!" another one chimed in.
"Can you believe how lucky we are?"
We all sat there in silence for a moment, taking a minute to thank our lucky stars.
But are they really 'lucky stars'?
Or is it the choices we made?
All of us sacrificed things in order to be where we were at that moment.
All of us live in small houses.
All of us work weekends regularly.
All of us drive older cars.
All of us aren't much into "stuff".
All of us consider a night in, binge-watching SATC and happily dissecting the outrageous spending habits of the ladies, a great success.
All of us would much rather chat idly in the sun, instead of "going shopping" as something to do.
And for none of us is doing any of the above a sacrifice.
On the contrary: we feel incredibly fortunate.
We live in a time where most people start out their adult lives being hugely in debt: either due to college tuition, or because we want everything right.this.minute and don't want to save for it, or because we need massive mortgages in order to buy houses we can't afford. Or maybe it's simply because we think it's normal to live above our means, and having store clerks cut our credit cards in half is a joke and not a sign that something is seriously wrong with our lifestyle choices.
We are conditioned that working full-time hours in jobs we don't like very much is normal, and that it's the price we have to pay for living like everyone around us and on social media: a life filled with big, shiny, new things, doing big, exciting, expensive things "because we deserve it". Work hard, play hard, right?
We are so flooded with these images, that after a while, we stop questioning them.
But is this what we want?
We crave to "do absolutely nothing" on vacation because we are too exhausted for new adventures.
We dream of the day when we don't have to work any more because we can't stand our jobs.
We are sleep deprived, stressed out, permanently tired, and getting sick because we push ourselves too far.
Is this really what we want?
Is any stuff worth this much sacrifice?
Last week I felt down and exhausted. We all do sometimes, because life has its fair share of suckiness.
I really wanted to see my friends, who live about 2 hours away from us.
I texted them on Sunday.
On Tuesday, I was there for a day and a night.
Isn't that one of the most rewarding experiences in life?
Instead of having to plan months ahead because we are all so busy, to be able to make spontaneous plans?
I have written about 'The 5 Regrets of the Dying' before. After all, if we don't listen to people who have made all the mistakes before and learnt from them, we really can't be helped.
The 5 biggest regrets are:
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish I had let myself be happier.
A life filled with people, laughter, warmth, experiences, friendship, and love is the richest life there is.
No big house, shiny car, expensive vacation or the latest kitchen gadget can make up for that.
Sitting in the sunshine with friends on a Wednesday morning comes as close to perfect as I can imagine.
I wouldn't trade it for the world.
xoxo Miriam
Read more on my blog Farm Girl
Join me on Facebook
Follow on Instagram
Vol. 49