Waiting

Finding beauty in the in-between spaces

I joined a poetry community last week. Since then I wrote two poems and now I’m already imaging the book of poems I want to publish one day.
(It has a title, a cover, and a dedication. All it needs is - well, everything else.)

That’s how my brain works. It’s impatient, impulsive, easily excitable and skips a dozen steps. If I’ve made a decision to do something I want to do it now.
I know I’m not alone in this. Waiting is difficult for everyone, and in today’s world it’s fallen out of style. We want instant gratification, and with our phones always by our side we are in danger of forgetting how to wait. We have distraction right at our fingertips, so we don’t have to sit in the discomfort of just being.

But waiting for something and getting through the uncomfortable instead of avoiding it is where magic can be found.
I’m impatiently waiting for the snow to melt and bureaucracy to move along to start building our new house.
(You can read the saga of how and why we decided to move here.)

And while I’m dying to get started, I’m also thoroughly enjoying the planning stage. Right now, anything is possible: floor-to-ceiling bookeshelves overflowing with books, plants, candles and personal mementos.
Copper pots, dried herbs, and baskets hanging from the ceiling.
Colourful rugs on the floor, plants everywhere, wood, white walls, colourful curtains and pillows.
Overstuffed couches, big armchairs and fresh flowers.
Large family photos on the wall mixed with art made by our grandkids.

I’m imagining a bold wallpaper with citrus fruit in the pantry, the shelves neatly organized.
An office with the desk under the window, where I can see the horses and cows graze peacefully under the trees, the dogs asleep on the day bed while I write.

I’m picturing a small pool behind the house for skinny dipping on hot days.
A large wrap-around porch where we’ll live all summer, drinking iced tea and talking while sitting in comfy chairs, the dogs stretched out around us. There are hammocks for reading and napping, the rich, woodsy scent of warm pine in the air. Rich will be in his garden in front of the house while I sit and watch him do the work he loves to do.
There will be a firepit where we’ll have bonfires under the stars every night if we feel like it.

Right now we don’t have to worry about budgets and deadlines and delays and having to make compromises and plans not working out. Right now there’s no packing boxes, decluttering, cleaning, agonizing, stressing. Right now we are in fantasy land, and it’s such a fun place to be in!

This morning I went out with the dogs and the sun was shining, the snow almost gone except for a few last patches in shady spots. The dogs are the greatest teachers when it comes to living in the moment, and watching them roll around happily on the last remnants of snow, gleefully cracking the thin layer of ice on puddles, and flying over the soft forest floor made me deeply appreciate the moment.

Even when it rained ice pellets later I was still living in the moment. I made myself some tea, snuggled up on the couch with Mia and a book, and enjoyed the coziness.

Yes, I’m waiting for spring, and some days I want it to come right.this.minute.

But there was magic today witnessing the dogs enjoy the snow so much; watching the grey chaos outside while I was warm and cozy inside; lighting candles and eating hot soup. And there’s magic in planning a future that’s everything I’ve ever wanted.

I can wait a little longer for that.

❤️ Miriam

P.S. My $0.99-sale is still going on for a few more days!