What does your life smell like?

Hazelnut coffee, popcorn paws, and the musky scent of a lioness protecting her pride

A response to Joy’s prompt in her magnificent piece Woman in the Parfumerie

Warm dog breath kissing me awake.
Vanilla macadamia nut coffee brewing at 5 in the morning, because in the summer I wake with the chickens. A splash of hazelnut creamer creating a decadent, rich scent that reminds me of Hawaii, the salt of the ocean mixing with plumeria, mango, coconut sunscreen.
Back in bed, laptop propped on my knees, two warm bodies press themselves against me. I rub their paws while I write and sniff my fingers, inhaling their popcorn smell deeply. I want to bottle this smell.
A breeze blows in through the open window, the promise of a brand new day sweet in the air. Suddenly: the smell of dog shit. Housetraining the puppy is still a work in progress.

I’ve made a decision. I’m going to say no to the woman who made me feel small. In capitalism you get to pay for the privilege of being told that you’re not good enough, and I almost fell for it. When I talked to her on the phone my stomach contracted uncomfortably, I kept tugging my hair behind my ears (something I do when I’m nervous), and I perspired heavily, shame wafting from my pores stinking like rotten fruit. I said yes just to make it stop, and the heavy scent of regret and failure filled the air.
But this morning I smell something different. Courage. It’s a musky, powerful smell, reminding me of a lioness protecting her pride. I’m that lioness, protecting my pride. We don’t give others all the power anymore. We don’t let them make us feel worthless and lacking. We are fierce, powerful, proud. We are whole.

890 days ago, my life smelled of regret, the sourness of white wine, tongue thick and furry in my mouth, like something that had died and was decaying. It smelled of loneliness, fear, a whiff of hospital antiseptic lingering in the air, an omen of things to come.

Fear and pain have a distinctive smell. When I have patients who are in a great deal of pain I can smell it on them. It’s an acrid, metallic smell, a mixture of sweat, blood, and something intangible, like scorched earth.
Mental pain isn’t as easily noticed, but it hurts just as much as physical pain. My life reeked of it, sour and unsettling. Maybe that’s why I’m so drawn to sweetness now, to balance out the years of acidity.

Freedom also has a scent. It smells of laundry soap on fresh sheets, the faint taste of minty toothpaste still on my tongue because I didn’t forget to brush my teeth the night before.
It’s the coolness of a desert morning, the promise of Ponderosa pine in the air.
It’s the fragrance of a new book, filled with words plucked from my own head like ripe fruit.
It’s the sweetness of the cinnamon bun I heat up for breakfast, reminding me of afternoons at the mall, the cloying fragrance of Cinnabon heavily in the air, promising a new outfit, an unforgettable night, a life to remember.

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Something exciting is coming your way …

… my new book is coming out September 10! You can pre-order the eBook here (paperback pre-order coming next week).

Three women. Two crimes. One Homeowner’s Association. And a whole lot of secrets…
Valerie Park: nurse, widow, harassee of the president of her Homeowner’s Association.
Holly Kent: harasser of Valerie, president of the Homeowner’s Association, all-around pain in the ass.
Clementine Harrison: photographer, yoga teacher, free spirit, van-dweller, defender of harassed women.
After selling everything she owns and road tripping across Canada in a converted school bus named Matilda, Clementine moves next door to Valerie. Valerie is depressed, scared, and lonely. And even though she doesn’t know it, she’s also the victim of a crime …

Clementine befriends Valerie and helps her find her voice, her courage, and an independence she never knew she possessed. Together they embark on a mission to dethrone Holly Kent, the tyrant of their neighbourhood who polices everything her neighbours do.
In the process they discover a few shocking secrets that make them question everything they thought they knew …

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Why preorder?
Preorders signal interest, help with estimating print runs, create buzz, tell bookstores and libraries to get the book, and make an author feel good🥰
It’s one of the best ways to support an author!