“What kind of dystopian hellscape is this?”

Give yourself a break this Christmas

December is here. How are you feeling about it?

I always have mixed feelings. It’s the month of my birthday, my seasonal depression, and the Christmas-circus I have complicated feelings about.
I find that over-hyping any occasion (weddings, baby showers, birthdays, Christmas) is a recipe for disappointment. And since it’s such big business, over-curated images of impossible perfection are inescapable. They are everywhere: in our social media feeds, in movies, in store decorations and on sentimental cards. It used to give me FOMO, a heavy dose of feeling not good enough, and such pressure to create “the most magical Christmas ever!” that I inevitably failed every year.

But there’s good news! To quote my husband: “It takes two to dance - if one of them doesn’t dance, there’s no dance”. While the analogy doesn’t quite work (people can dance alone, Rich), the sentiment behind it is an important one. Just because our world is Christmas-crazy doesn’t mean you have to be Christmas-crazy. If you love this time of year, enjoy! I wish you nothing but cinnamon-scented sweetness and twinkle lights.

But if having to endure all the lights, decorations, Christmas music and mall Santas makes you channel you inner Wednesday Addams and say out loud “What kind of dystopian hellscape is this?”, I got you.

On a scale of 1 (Wednesday) to 10 (Mariah Carey) I’m a solid 5. Some years I’ve been getting close to a 3 or 2, but now that I’ve found a few ways to navigate the most commercial time of the year I can actually enjoy it!

It’s simple: choose what you like about the season and ignore the rest.

My biggest stressors have always been buying gifts, writing Christmas cards, and hosting. So I’ve eliminated them! I still buy gifts for a select few people, but I’ve cut my list WAY down. I also try to get the few gifts I buy before December so I can avoid going to stores as much as possible during the holiday rush (I HATE crowds).

I’ve stopped writing Christmas cards altogether, because I always pressured myself into personalizing cards for everyone, and I resented doing it. I didn’t enjoy the process and most people throw them out in January anyways, so what’s the point? By quitting I’m not only saving a tree and more work for the overworked mailmen but also my sanity.

The last one is hosting, and I’m simply not doing that on Christmas. Too much pressure, I’m often struggling with depression, and it was always extremely stressful trying to figure out how to fit everybody in.
Now I cook something for Rich and me, we talk to family in Germany and then we watch a movie - perfect!

Other things I don’t paticipate in: playing Christmas music at home (there’s enough of it out in the world), decorating gingerbread houses, going overboard with decorations.

Here are the things I love: Christmas trees and twinkle lights, cheesy Christmas movies (they’re so bad, they are good), eating cookies for breakfast. I’m planning on baking some cookies this year, but the last couple of years I didn’t, and I didn’t stress over it.

Social media can be a tricky one this time of year due to the aforementioned curated images and the unspoken competition of who’s doing Christmas best. To quote Wednesday again:
”I find social media to be a soul-sucking void of meaningless affirmation.”

You said it, sister! If it makes you feel bad it might be for the best to take a little social media break, or to make sure to unfollow all those uber-competitive people who make you feel bad. No need for unnecessary toxicity in your life.

Someone whom I love following is Liz from

Wild Soul Collective

. She lives a slow lifestyle in rhythm with the seasons, which currently means that she's leaning fully into the darkness of winter. Liz teaches us to not resist the short days but to embrace them, and she has a knack for taking gorgeously moody pictures of the darkness. I tend to only photograph the light and brightness, but Liz captures the dark beautifully. She's sending out little notes throughout this Christmas season. Check her out!

I hope you find little pockets of peace and joy this month and stop doing stuff that you don’t want to do. Make your own rules!

I’ll leave you with one last Wednesday quote that seems appropriate for the season:
“I don’t believe in mandatory volunteer work, sugar-coated history, or happy endings.”
Let’s add that we don’t believe in forced cheer, going into debt because society tells us to and participating in rituals out of obligation that make our insides hurt.

Do whatever the hell you want to do!
xoxo Miriam