Worrying is stupid
Guys, I'm freaked out.
I just went outside to do the last feed, and the horses were crazy. Galloping up and down their respective fields, neighing to each other, and being very agitated.
The air was thick with smoke, and there was an eerie red glow in the sky. Creepy. The rustling of the wind in the leaves sounded like fire crackling, and I stood outside forever, motionless, almost paralyzed with dread.
I'm scared of the fire. The 160+ wildfires that are burning in our province scare me half to death, and tonight's episode with the red sky and freaked out horses didn't help.
It's the helplessness that gets me; knowing that there is absolutely nothing one can do to prepare. I wish we could make water barriers around our homes, magical rings that can't be penetrated by the flames.
But since that's not possible, we only have two choices: Worry - or don't.
The thing about worrying is, it's completely useless. It doesn't put you at ease (just the opposite), it doesn't solve the problem, it doesn't help in any way.
What it does, however, is rob you of your peace of mind. Instead of enjoying the present moment, you spoil it by worrying about something you can't do anything about.
I'm trying hard to learn how to worry less. It's a lesson that doesn't come easily to me. Worrying seems to be ingrained in our nature, even though for the life of me I can't figure out why. What's its purpose?
Thankfully, I have people in my life who have mastered the art of enjoying the moment much more than I have.
Last Saturday, we went tubing with 2 friends to do just that: Enjoy a beautiful, sunny day.
(Or, as my inner spoilsport wanted to point out: "Another hot and dry day, think of the FIRES!!!!" But I told it to shut the f*ck up.)
It started out just fine: The sky was blue, the sun was warm, the water was - well, not that warm, actually. And there was quite a strong wind.
But no matter! We took off in our tubes, enjoying the scenery and the awesome sensation of floating. Floating is great.
I was reflecting about how life is like a river, you never know what awaits you around the next bend, that sort of stuff, when - splash! - I fell in. Yikes, the water was fresh! It wasn't that bad while being in the water, but we soon realized a slight miscalculation on our part; the water was low in many spots. Very low.
Which meant that we had to get up and walk quite often.
While wet.
With a strong wind blowing.
We froze our butts off. Several times during the 4 hour-trip (!!!) we crawled on land, shivering and teeth rattling, to heat up and get some feeling back into our numb limbs.
But there's a flip side: When you're close to hypothermia, you don't worry about anything else.
I wish I had a better conclusion to this bizarre letter, but alas, I don't.
Well, I have this: Good friends are the kinda people who distract you from useless worrying.
Even if it involves almost freezing to death.
Try to worry less, my friends! It's stupid.
xoxo Miriam
P.S. I still don't know what had the horses so freaked out. I try not to worry about it.
P.P.S. It's not going well.
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Vol. 27