Zero days
Since my mental burnout last year I've made several changes to my life to slow down, stress less and be more gentle with myself. Before, it was extremely important to me to "achieve" something each day. Be it going to work, writing a blog post, promote my book, working on my next project or getting at least a good walk or yoga session in, I felt like I wasted a day if I didn't do at least one, but preferably several of these things.
You know what I'm talking about. We live in the days of the hustle! Hustling is where it's at. We constantly get bombarded with the message that we should do more and try a little harder. Working hard is a badge of honour, and self-improvement is all the rage. I wrote a post about this phenomenon last month called Let's all take a break from improving ourselves, highlighting how insane the improvement craze has become. No area of our life is safe from it: our jobs, houses, diets, bodies, relationships, free time, even our sleep are all in dire need to get some work done.
You have a job? You should have a career!
You have a hobby you enjoy? You should make it your business! If you don't have the goal of becoming an entrepreneur you're not living up to your potential, baby.
You enjoy leisurely jogs? You should run marathons. Push yourself!
You feel good about your body? Take another look. Are you sure you couldn't improve it? Of course you could. Lose ten pounds and you will be so proud of yourself.
The hustle is holding the promise of a happy life in front of us just out of reach, claiming that we will get it once we have lost the weight, got that promotion, started our business or have made our first million.
But that's not how happiness works.
If we are conditioned to believe that we have to work for happiness, we can't be truly happy when we stand still. We will get restless again, thinking if we push ourselves a little farther, we will be a little happier.
There is always more we could achieve: get more followers, make more money, lose more weight. If you get trapped in thinking that way you will never be satisfied.
The only way to become happy and to be at peace is to fall in love with your life the way it is now. Right now, with all its unfinished imperfection, chaos and messiness.
And the best way to do this is to slow down.
We have to stop and catch our breath. We have to give ourselves a chance to look around, to see everything that's beautiful in our life. We need time to mentally and physically catch up with the high speed our lives are galloping along, to take stock and appreciate everything we already have.
For weeks now I've been fascinated with the Pacific Crest Trail, a 4,265 km (2,650 miles) hiking trail that starts at the Mexican border and goes all the way up to Canada. I'm learning a lot about "thru hiking", which is hiking a long-distance trail in one go, which takes several months. Hiking 10-20 miles every day with a heavy backpack on your back is taking a toll on your body, and most hikers will have to take what they call "zero days" (=hiking zero miles) to recover and rest their bodies.
I love the idea of zero days. Without having a name for it, I've been taking regular zero days since my burnout, and they are fantastic.
A zero day for me means a day where I don't have to achieve anything. No to-do list, no hustle, no "I should just [fill in the blank]." Nothing. Zero.
On a zero day I act like I'm on vacation. I do only what I feel like, and if that's lying in my hammock and reading all day, or binge-watching Netflix, then I will do that with zero guilt (that part is important! You have to enjoy it). If I don't want to move my body that day, then I won't. If I don't want to cook that day, then I won't cook.
Zero days are excellent recharge-days, and I always feel energized and ready to rejoin the world the day after.
We have to give ourselves permission to be gentle with ourselves. We have to stop believing that we always have to chase something. We are allowed to be still. We are allowed to be satisfied with what we have, and to be proud of how far we've come.
It's okay to be happy with a smaller life. In fact, learning to appreciate what you have is the secret to a happy life. That doesn't mean that we can't want more; dreams and goals are exciting. But unless we are grateful for what we have right now, we will never be grateful for whatever else we might gain.
Slow down. Look around you. Your life is pretty amazing.
Love,
Miriam
If you found this letter useful, feel free to forward it to someone who might need to hear this. Let's spread the no-hustle lifestyle!
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Vol. 64