Zero fucks given*
*Warning: This letter contains numerous f-bombs. If you are offended by that, stop reading now.
Dear friends,
I don't know about you, but I'm fucking tired. I want a break. I don't want to wake up and worry about the latest atrocity Trump has concocted with his sick little mind. Or how imminent WWIII is. Or how to dress like a woman. (Aren't those Twitter posts awesome, though?!)
I constantly feel guilty, because shouldn't I do something?
Isn't there so much to worry about, to protest against, to stand for, to be appalled by, to fight against, and to fight for?
Of course there is. These days you can't enter a harmless conversation without it getting around to the small-handed orange tyrant sooner or later. And I'm not even American.
But he's dangerous, and dangerously unhinged, and it is affecting the entire world; we can't escape him, so we keep talking and reading and hearing about him.
I'm sick of it.
Ever since the inauguration, I've been tense and worried, and I have been obsessively reading everything I can about American politics. And I'm not even interested in politics, normally.
It made me lose sight of the beauty of our world, because I was in danger of becoming so consumed by one, hateful aspect it.
Like I said, I needed a break.
Ideally, without feeling like a horrible, selfish, uncaring human being.
And then, last week, I came across a book that's teaching me a way to do just that:
The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck.
Sarah Knight had me from the very first sentence:
"If you are like me, you've been giving too many fucks about too many things for too long."
Amen, sister!
Basically, she says that we have a fuck budget, and we shouldn't be careless with the fucks we have to give. Because, before you know it, you are fresh out of fucks to give, and what if you desperately need some more?
Or, to put it differently: We can't care about everything. We are all only one person, and we have limited reserves of energy. We have to decide what's important to us, and use our empathy and compassion on that.
Let's say you already used up all your patience on work, on our co-worker's long-winded story about her useless son-in-law, on driving home during rush-hour, cooking, cleaning, and picking the kids up from hockey practice - you won't have anything left for your friend's relationship drama. You want to help her, but sorry, the fuck budget is empty, which means you simply can't listen to her right now.
However, if she is important to you, you will feel guilty about not making time for her.
That's why you have to decide what you care about, and what you don't give a fuck about.
Once you have made that decision, stick to it: Stop worrying about the thing you decided to stop worrying about.
It's so simple, it's genius.
(Easier said than done, of course, because that's how life works. But when you read the book, you will find useful tips about how to achieve the magic of Not Giving a Fuck!)
In my case, I've taken a time-out from the Trump-madness and associated "I should do more"-guilt. I decided that for now, I won't give a fuck about him, because I can't do anything about it. It ruins my day and makes me feel bad, and that achieves absolutely nothing.
What I do care about are the things I can do in my everyday life to make the world a little bit better:
Help out a neighbour.
Take out the garbage for the 5,892nd time and not yell at my husband for not doing it (well, yell only a little bit).
Save you from a disappointing Valentine's Day with this fun and unexpected V-Day gift guide.
Be nice to patients, even the annoying ones.
Smile at strangers.
Live Try to live by the adage that "if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all". (I'm trying, because that's a tough one.)
Write hand-written letters to my friend (another one is in the works already, T!).
Spread some spring-cheer with my free, downloadable wallpapers for your phone or computer.
Practice kindness every day.
Be easy on yourselves, dear ones. Life can be tough. We all need a break once in a while, and that's a-okay.
Have a great week, and don't forget to give enough fucks about yourselves!
You deserve them.
xo Miriam
Like this newsletter? Fantastic! Forward it to someone who would like it, too.
Vol. 6