I'm done suffering

Try softer, not harder

I think one of the biggest misconceptions about life is that it has to be hard. I’m not saying that life isn’t hard; on the contrary, it often is, and it will break your heart many times. (Which is even more reason not to make it unnecessarily difficult.)

What I’m talking about is the belief that anything worth achieving has to be done by shedding copious amounts of blood, sweat, and tears.
What if that’s not actually true? What if we can achieve our goals with ease, joy, and fun?

I’m talking about our obsession to try harder, when all we do is try so hard already, all the fricking time.
What would happen if we try softer?

I’m talking about adding more and more items to our lists, when what we should be doing is ruthlessly striking items off it.
We’ve done one thing already? Let’s rest for a while.

I’m talking about working too much, and then buying things to treat ourselves because we’ve been working so much, and then needing to work more to pay off the things we bought and couldn’t afford.
What if we buy less and work less?

I’m talking about dreaming of vacations where all we want to do is sleep and do nothing, because we’ve spread ourselves too thin by not saying no enough and doing too much and trying to keep up with everyone.
What if we work less, say no more often, and fit in sleep and doing nothing every day?

I’m talking about waiting for the weekend to spend time with our families, waiting for vacation to relax, waiting for retirement to travel.
What if we drink coffee in bed every morning, with a shot of our favourite syrup? What if we go to the lake/river/ocean/park/woods after dinner instead of watching yet another rerun of “The Office”?

I’m talking about the weird catch phrases we’re supposed to live by, like “work hard, play hard”, “pain is weakness leaving your body”, “push through”, “you can sleep when you’re dead”. Exhaustion isn’t a badge of honour.
What if we quit participating in that game? What if, instead of going harder and faster all the time, we go softer and slower? What if pain is our body’s way of telling us to stop? What if we sleep now instead of later?

I’m talking about starving ourselves, ripping our hair out, plucking and squeezing and sucking in, having people we pay yell at us to push harder, because we’ve been told that beauty requires suffering, and that being beautiful is our duty.
What if we say fuck it and eat whatever the hell we want, stop apologizing for our unshaven legs, buy a larger size so we’re comfortable, and go to a class where we’re told us that we are whole and worthy, instead of getting yelled at that we are not good enough?

I’m talking about the fallacy that there’s a reward at the end for the person who suffered the most. I don’t want to unnecessarily suffer. Life’s hardships will find me, like they find all of us, but in the meantime, I want a soft, joyful life. No more delaying of joy for the weekend, for vacation, for retirement. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed to any of us. All we have is this moment, today.

And I intend to fill my today with all the sweetness, softness, and love I can manage.

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