Love this! (Really) Thank you for sharing it. Your writing always brings back so many (often unpleasant) memories from my upbringing, which I am pretty sure was similar to yours. I do believe in love. “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” (St. Exupery - The Little Prince)
It was instilled in us from a very young age never to talk about what was going on inside the family. It was law; we knew we couldn't even tell our closest friends. So you grow up never knowing what's healthy and normal, and you believe everything your parents tell you about yourself. Having this strong desire to write honestly created a lot of tension and guilt inside me, because it felt like I was doing something wrong.
But now that I know that the toxic family dynamic has affected the next generation just as badly (if not more) I'm done keeping their secrets. Secrets destroy lives - the truth will set us free.
Yes, yes, yes! Same here. I always had a sneaking suspicion that what went on in my family was not normal, not healthy. But if you don’t know any different… and we were just children. It’s not easy to push past that comfort zone, but so worth it. Glad you did ❤️
The heart should always be full! I think so anyway. In our family, the mom's more leaned to:
" Other moms' have fine, fine babies too!" when I'd confide in mine, that the current boyfriend would not be a permanent fixture. I'm glad she did not push to keep this one a bit longer, it gave me the inner liberty to decide and stand by that. My kids have a much more serious outlook on love. I haven't chased love, and hoped it would somehow find me one day, and I'd have a fine human to share life with. So far, not............
It's NEVER too late, Marijke! And there are so many more loves than just romantic love. Kids, grandkids, friends, co-workers, family, animals, meeting someone like-minded who just gets you - love comes in many forms.
The German language doesn't lend itself to proclaiming love ("ich liebe dich" always feels unyielding when saying it), but in English we say it so much more, and I've always liked that so much. I don't care if Germans think it's superficial - I'd rather hear it too much than too little. There isn't such a thing as too much love.
Love this! (Really) Thank you for sharing it. Your writing always brings back so many (often unpleasant) memories from my upbringing, which I am pretty sure was similar to yours. I do believe in love. “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” (St. Exupery - The Little Prince)
It was instilled in us from a very young age never to talk about what was going on inside the family. It was law; we knew we couldn't even tell our closest friends. So you grow up never knowing what's healthy and normal, and you believe everything your parents tell you about yourself. Having this strong desire to write honestly created a lot of tension and guilt inside me, because it felt like I was doing something wrong.
But now that I know that the toxic family dynamic has affected the next generation just as badly (if not more) I'm done keeping their secrets. Secrets destroy lives - the truth will set us free.
Yes, yes, yes! Same here. I always had a sneaking suspicion that what went on in my family was not normal, not healthy. But if you don’t know any different… and we were just children. It’s not easy to push past that comfort zone, but so worth it. Glad you did ❤️
The heart should always be full! I think so anyway. In our family, the mom's more leaned to:
" Other moms' have fine, fine babies too!" when I'd confide in mine, that the current boyfriend would not be a permanent fixture. I'm glad she did not push to keep this one a bit longer, it gave me the inner liberty to decide and stand by that. My kids have a much more serious outlook on love. I haven't chased love, and hoped it would somehow find me one day, and I'd have a fine human to share life with. So far, not............
It's NEVER too late, Marijke! And there are so many more loves than just romantic love. Kids, grandkids, friends, co-workers, family, animals, meeting someone like-minded who just gets you - love comes in many forms.
The German language doesn't lend itself to proclaiming love ("ich liebe dich" always feels unyielding when saying it), but in English we say it so much more, and I've always liked that so much. I don't care if Germans think it's superficial - I'd rather hear it too much than too little. There isn't such a thing as too much love.